How about the Octuplet Momma??

My take is over at Larger Families.

{ 9 Comments }

  1. A very good point.

  2. I have to say, I’m a mom of 6 (Three that I spawned and three that I happily claim), and in moments of insanity I contemplate adding another to the group…You are Correct in saying that big familys are CHALLANGING. And there are times where one questions the judgment of a parent having those children. (on a personal level, my youngest daughter (claimed) is 6 weeks old and the product of my husband and his best friend. ) Did I agree with all of the circumstances of the leading up to the birth of this baby, of course not. But it’s not the little ones fault. My little KC and those eight young ones in the news, they have no clue about the grown ups and their ‘issues.’ They don’t know and they don’t care and they don’t need to know. All they need is to be loved and supported and shown how to be well grounded and centered people when they grow up. And sometimes even thought we get bombarded with the grown up issues, like you said the reality is that to support the children, you often have to support the mother.

    I’m not sure I agree with the grown up issues in this case…but it’s not about me agreeing. I send good mojo to that woman because she now has 14 young children that will need everything she can offer and provide. And they deserve that much at least. I hope that she appreciates and cherishes not only the gift she has received, but also also recognizes the responsibility she has.

  3. I am so glad that I am not the only one who thinks that this is not the end of the world. And I am so tired of reading about what this will cost the ‘taxpayers’. There are a good many women out there who have multiple children by multiple men collecting welfare, and I don’t here the taxpayers complaining about them. Regardless of whether the decision was right or wrong, these are still little people who will need lots of love and support, and if she can give them that…well, I don’t think it’s the end of the world if she needs help in other areas. Also…is it just me or is this lady’s mom way off base in talking about her daughter to the media like she is? I am so glad my mother is way more supportive of me (or at least if she disagrees, she keeps it between her and myself).

  4. Let’s see – the daughter has expected her parents to go back to work to support the children this daughtercontinues to have via in vitro – so she can have more children for which she cannot provide even the most basic requirements of food and shelter. Let alone change diapers and give personal care to 14 children. She gives the reason for her obsession with having babies being based in her terrible childhood (gee every mom wants to hear that)Yes children are a blessing and should be cherished. The questions being raised about the ethics of using in vitro fertilization for reproduction when it is a single woman with obvious mental problems is the discussion. God help these children,evidently many people are able to assist financially (see news articles on internet) so perhaps she will have the finances – but it isn’t about finances – the discussion is legitimate regarding the ethical situation. Our technology has outrun our sense of right and wrong – not condemnation of the individual. Medical science needs to have standards of what SHOULD be done not just what COULD be done.

  5. This woman lives in the same city I do. It is quite a circus! I just don’t agree with the circumstances in which these poor babies were conceived. It’s funny when yo think about adoption. We have to prove that we are able to take care of adopted children, both financially and emotionally. But evidently anyone can have children through in vitro fertilization, and this woman eight?

  6. I feel very sorry for these children. Children aren’t like puppies to be reared with a group of same age siblings. My Grandfather was the second from youngest, in a family of at least 16, but his brothers and sisters were spaced out over 22 years.

  7. There is nothing wrong with wanting lots of kids. However, one must be able to provide a stable and loving home for them. Not only that, one must have the financial means to support the entire family. However, if the parent or parents are unable to provide the basic needs then this will only make everyone suffer including the children. The children deserve a better life than this.

  8. I agree that judgement will not help this situation- but I do think that someone (not sure who) should assess her mental health status- is she capable of caring for these young children- b/c if not than they could be at risk for neglect….and it is such a fine line when you ask the government to step in and tell us how many kids we can/should have……a responsible parent would do that themselves…..but she didn’t….I’m so conflicted.

  9. It’s not my place to judge her actions, but I can’t help feel a bit uneasy about this mom’s decision. I have nothing against large families, I admire those of you who can successfully raise many kids. If you think you can raise 14 kids, then by all means do it. However, I believe grown ups should think it through, and be able to provide for as many kids as they decide to raise.

    I think this is what bothers me the most about this case. It seems as if she decided to have the octuplets out of whim, without considering how she would care for them. It just feels she didn’t think it through. I can’t help to think she should have used the in-vitro money to help care for the 6 children she already had.

    Like someone above said, when you adopt a child you have to proove you can support the child (emotionally and financially), but not when you do in-vitro. This is probably the most arguable point regarding ‘ethics’; maybe parents who opt for in-vitro should proove that they can care for the children they’ll concieve? But then, if those parents conceived those children through the ‘normal’ way, would anyone require them to proove they can support them? In a way (like someone else said above), this mom’s case is no different from that of a woman who has multiple children with multiple partners.

    The other thing that bugs me is the grandparent’s situation. Grandma shouldn’t be bad-mouthing mom on the media. But then, grandma shouldn’t be expected to foot the bill and care for the children either. I mean, yes, grandparents are usually expected to help out with the grandkids, but it’s not their responsability to raise them (leaving aside special cases like parent’s death, etc).

    Anyway, that’s just my take on this “case”. I just hope this mom finds the strength required to raise 14 kids, and the help she’ll surely need, because like the saying goes, “there’s no case in crying over spilt milk”.