Where should kids be?

After this heads-up from Chris, I went to read this ABC News story about the Edwards family taking their kids on the campaign trail.

Here’s my take: my husband and I dislike the type of invitations that say, ‘no children, please.’ Our children are the center of our life, and we get bent out of shape when people make it clear that our kids aren’t welcome. Oh, we go on an occasional date on our own. We’ve had dinner at friends’ homes now and then without children. And we treasure our quiet time in the evening after kids finally go to bed. But we prefer to spend most of our lives with our children. (And to tell the truth, most friends know that about us and do not invite us places without our kids.)

I am certain that if we were in the shoes of the Edwards family, we would rent the biggest tour bus you ever saw and show the kids America, homeschooling all the way. If a tour like that was done thoughtfully, at a reasonable pace, and with respect for children’s needs, a family could make some realy nice memories. Whether or not I agree with the politics of the Edwards family, I most certainly understand and respect their choice to keep their family together.

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  1. AMEN, Sister!!!

  2. I agree. Our kids are our lives and we enjoy spending time with them. If I or my husband felt the need to do what the Edwards are doing, I would most certainly take my kids with me.

  3. Agreed. Our kids are always with us and it is by choice.

  4. Thanks for this. I’m reeling from a call from our local Pre-K administrator, which was basically made to chastise my husband and I for our “overattchment” and “overinvolvement” with our four-year-old. Four. Year. Old.

    Yeah, totally shows me I was wrong about the public school system.

    Bleh! I think I’ll print this to take along with me to our next meeting.

  5. I totally agree. I’m still upset over the fact that our chidren were not invited to my husband’s brother’s wedding (that was over a year ago). We were told that we were not to bring them – at all. Our boys are his only nephews/nieces – the only children in our immediate family. I half expected them to be ring bearers when I heard they’d gotten engaged. Imagine my surprise when we found out that they were not welcome at the wedding. My husband and I were totally shocked and extremely hurt over this. Our relationship with his brother and new wife was damaged by this and I’m not sure it will ever be completely repaired. I just consider it completely disrespectful of parents when people blantantly exclude their children.

  6. That’s a perfectly good question…where ELSE would they be? I remember Garth Brooks talking about his girls at his concerts. When one person is involved in something like this – the entire family is involved. Whether or not they are actually travelling or not!!

  7. I totally agree!

  8. Absolutely. My kids often go with me to business type meetings when I absolutely MUST leave the house regarding work.

  9. Amen!!

  10. Thank you! That is one reason I love reading your blog — I totally agree with you about the family being together. That is what family is for. I think our country has lost track of family — they don’t spend much time together and want other people to take care of them and teach them — kids go one way and the parents go do whatever they want (including work.) Families forget to have fun together and enjoy each other. I will step down from my soap box now!

  11. Mmmmm – thank you for this! I so appreciate others with this viewpoint. This is something we have been talking about a lot lately. I am also very aware that in the end these years of toting children everywhere will be short; I want to soak it up while I can.

  12. Right with ya girl!!! We do not attend “no children please” events. Taking our children everywhere with us and involving them in the world has taught them valuable social skills. Then again I am a product of homeschooling… so I get it honest.

  13. This might be the first thing on which I’ve agreed with the Edwards. ;o)

    I honestly can’t understand it when I hear about people leaving their kids for a week long vacation, or moms who are thrilled that school is starting so they can finally have a “break from the kids.” I always mourned the end of summer. Which is why we now homeschool.

  14. You have lucky kids.

  15. Mary I have been following your blog (as a quiet lurker!) and as a new, young, mom who doesn’t always have the support of friends on this subject it is sooooo nice to hear it from someone else…that it is okay to revolve around your kids!! I agree with you 100%. Thank you so much for putting some wind in my sails!!

  16. When my mom continues to ask over and over and over again when will I leave the Vikings with her so DaHubby and I can go on vacation – just the 2 of us – she left speechless when I ask her why would I go on vacation without my kids?

    I wonder if it is a generational thing? LOL

  17. agreed…and now as a mom i feel guilty for having a no kids kind of “rule” at our wedding…the only difference was that eight years ago (when my husband and i were married) we only had one friend with a child so i don’t feel THAT bad. still…now that i’m a mom…i miss out on stuff i’d like to attend even when my child IS invited b/c it isn’t the right event or time or whatever for my child. thanks for bringing this point up. and by the way this is why i love your writing so much…you are so open minded with regard to what us going on around us all the time as people/americans/women/moms. xo

  18. may I ask…what made you decide to homeschool your children?

  19. Well said!

    I am sick of this attitude that is becoming prevalent in our society that children are more like possessions to played with when it conveniently fits, and not enjoyed! How much longer before we are expected to shove our children off with a governess and only see them once a day at supper…maybe!

    I LOVE being a mommy! I love hanging out with my 2 year old! Sure, errands and chores take twice as long, but they are exponentially more fun! Don’t even get me started about how much fun baking bread was this morning!

  20. You go girl!

  21. I agree with all the comments about how wonderful it is that the Edwardses are taking the kids on the campaign trail…
    HOWEVER am surprised to see that no one has made the point that if family is so very important to the Edwardses, why don’t they NOT RUN FOR PRESIDENT, considering that Elizabeth Edwards has a terminal disease. She will probably not live to see these children grow up.
    True, a miracle could happen, she could recover completely; It is, however, extremely unlikely.
    Even so, I wonder that they don’t desire to be fully there for their children in every way, living life as a family and not spending any part of the end of your earthly life on the road, trying to put on a cheerful face for America? Her children are YOUNG.

  22. I have to bring my kids every where. People should not request ” don’t bring kids” at their weddings. It’s unkind.