Poor unfortunate souls

AS always, looking at the ways that people find my blog is amusing.  I am a little troubled by some trends, however.  

Nearly every day people find me by searching for two bits of information:  how to clean puke out of carpet, and how much Benadryl to give their baby so they will sleep.

Due to the sheer volume of searches for these two topics, I am feeling compelled to give some answers.

I’ll talk about the benadryl first, and then those weak of stomach may wish to wander off before I share my best puke cleaning techniques….

Benadryl.   First of all, to be safe talk to your pediatrician before giving your child Benadryl.  I absolutely would NOT give it to a baby under the age of 9 months or so.  Young babies wake up–period.  They eventually get over it, so hang in there…you’ll make it.

Remember that Benadryl does NOT always help children sleep better.  On some kids it has a paradoxical opposite effect–making them hyper and wild. Having said all that, for proper benadryl dosage, please consult this  BENADRYL dosage chart

 In the rare cases I have used it for sleep in a child  (a 30 hour airplane trip home from Ethiopia immediately comes to mind) I have erred on the side of caution and used a quarter-teaspoon LESS than the recommended dose for my child’s weight.

Again– check with your doctor.

*****

Now.  The puke in carpet thing.

(Quick, now is your time to click away, oh ye expectant or faint of heart.)

1.) Start by getting a metal spatula and scraping as much particulate matter as you can into a bowl or bucket.  Flush down toilet. (At the point you may throw away the spatula or keep it under the bathroom sink for the rest of its natural life, sanctified for this purpose alone.)

2.) Once you have removed all particulate matter, get a dry towel and blot well.  

3.) Then get a soapy washcloth and scrub over and over until you’re very tired.  (This doesn’t usually take terribly long because kids usually puke in the night and you start out tired.)  

4.) If you are fortunate enough to have a shampoo attachment on your vacuum, by all means use it at this point.   Half the household is awake already.  The ones who’ve managed to sleep through the puke will probably sleep through the vacuuming too.  

5.) Once you have sufficiently scrubbed or wet-vac’d,  blot again with a dry bath towel.  You will get the most liquid out of the carpet if you *stand* on the towel.  (Note:  Please make sure you are wearing flipflops or some other plastic footwear. You will be disappointed with the results obtained by fuzzy bedroom slippers. )

6.) Finish off the cleaning process with a generous spray of Febreze directly onto the affected area of the carpet.   (Please note: unless you are tired of owning a parakeet, do not spray Febreze in the same room with your bird.   He will die. Or at least sit on the floor of his cage looking ready to die for 3 days or so.)

When you awaken in the morning and enter the room, you will doubtless still detect a whiff of the vomit from the previous might’s escapade.   At this point you can:

a– repeat steps 2-6 until you are even more tired than before, or

b–pretend you don’t smell a thing, and walk out, hoping the odor will improve once the carpet is fully dry. 

Have fun!

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  1. ew!!

    that is something i can say i don't look forward to…but at least now i know how to handle it — whenever i have kids who puke. i salute you, mary!

  2. I have first-hand experience with that "opposite effect" of Benadryl. We were on a 14-hour journey to Hawaii with a 17-month old on our laps, so I came prepared with Benadryl in my purse. A couple hours into the trip, I decided it would be a good time for a nap. So, down went the dose. We had tested the effects once before at church, and had a conked-out child the whole sermon. Unfortunately we were not so lucky this time. A few hours later I even tried a second dose (I hesitantly admit), and still we had a wide-eyed, antsy-yet-tired little girl. Wouldn't you know, that 10 minutes before landing at our final destination, she fell asleep?!

  3. LOL

    I was just stopping by to warn you that I had done a post about you today, and your 30 days of nothing. (sending my 3 readers your way….) j/k

    And I come here and see how people usually get here….

    🙂

  4. Too funny! My biggest search hits are about Nuby sippy cups, boycut jeans, and a type of hairstyle– all things I wrote about almost a year ago. Google is a funny, funny thing.

    My son could out-will Benadryl when it came to tiredness. That kid didn’t want to miss a thing.

  5. Mary — you’re one cool momma… and with your tribe, I think people understand the Benadryl notes the right way!

  6. Mary – On #4 you forgot to add that husband will be in the half who is not awake, or atleast admitting to it. Not my comment, but on behalf of my lovely wife.

  7. I chuckled and snorgled my way through the puke-cleaning advisory! We had a parakeet die unexpectedly, and we use Febreeze, but I never connected the 2 items…I do know that gases from overheated Teflon can be fatal to birds.

    I don’t remember if I let a Teflon skillet get too hot and sprayed Febreeze to mask the smell the day the bird died or not. 🙂

  8. Our little dog ate a whole stick of butter one day and threw it up on the living room carpet…then in the family on the carpet. It stunk sooooo bad….for over a week! I scrubbed bleached out spots on both places because I scrubbed for days and days. Does that fabreeze thing work on house dogs too, I wonder?

    Just kidding!

    Thanks for the ummm, informative post. =) Although, at the least hint of a bedtime stomach ache, I practically attach an old yogurt tub to their chins!

    Christie

  9. “You will be disappointed with the results obtained by fuzzy bedroom slippers.”……HA!

    Still laughing! Great post!

  10. Oh, how timely the puke post is!… Guess what I was doing at 5:30 this morning! Sick season already??

    I am one of those strange individuals who has a dystonic response to Benedryl (or, more specifically, the ingredient diphenhydramine, which is also in products like Tylenol PM). It is the worst feeling, especially when you took the ,edicine in the first place because you’re feeling sick! Extremely agitated and hyper with creepy, crawling skin– the closest thing to psychotic that I ever hope to feel.

  11. you CRACK ME UP!
    thanks for making my smile even bigger today…

  12. Nope, couldn't get through the puke out of carpet. Started reading–couldn't get past the first step. . . .