What’s The Grossest Thing…

…that your baby has ever placed in his or her mouth?

I want to hear your stories. And yeah, I have one or two myself. One of mine found a spider’s egg-sac and popped the whole thing in his mouth– kinda like cotton candy, you know. Another chawed on a cigarette butt on the beach. Another ate marigolds, precipitating my first call to Poison Control. (No, they’re not, in case you ever need to know yourself.)

But the grand-prize winner in the gross department happened just two days ago. I held off sharing this with you, waiting to make sure she was gonna live. (Kidding, kidding). But it really was rather alarming.

You see, I had my 1 year old sitting on a barstool at the bathroom counter while I combed and ponytailed her hair. I had the sink turned on to a drizzle, so she could be distracted from the hair-combing by a little water-play.

Looking up from a particularly tricky ponytail, I was shocked to see that my child had pulled the drainplug out of the drain and was vigorously sucking on the end of it– the long skinny end that hangs way down in the drain and was covered with—-

(side note: do you CLEAN your drainplugs? Please tell me no, or I will suffer from unbearable guilt.)

— covered with a measurable layer of beyond-disgusting greenish-blackish gunk. Aaaaack! I hollered so loud she started crying. She cried more as I vigorously scrubbed out her mouth. Yuck. Yuck. Yuck. I could not believe that had happened RIGHT in front of my face. (Bad mommy.)

Note to self: scrub and bleach all drain plugs in house.

So. Can anybody top that?

{ 88 Comments }

  1. Yes, I'm really really behind on this but the woman who posted above me did so only a month ago, so can I still play?

    My Girl (now 11) once ate a cicada when she was a year old and I once caught My Boy (now 5) scraping gum off of the underside of a restaurant table and eating it! Those are just the worst ones I know about!

    I think I, too, am going to have to link to this on my blog.

  2. Yes, I’m really really behind on this but the woman who posted above me did so only a month ago, so can I still play?

    My Girl (now 11) once ate a cicada when she was a year old and I once caught My Boy (now 5) scraping gum off of the underside of a restaurant table and eating it! Those are just the worst ones I know about!

    I think I, too, am going to have to link to this on my blog.

  3. Eeek!! Here's mine: We used to have a bird that lived in our bedroom. My son (now 2 1/2 yrs old) was about 7 or 8 months old. I'm not a morning person, so I usually tucked him in bed next to me, turned my back to him and he would play with my hair, suck on my pjs, etc until I could drag myself out of bed. On this particular morning he managed to fall off the bed. When I turned over (in shock!) to make sure he was ok, I found that the bird had pooped on the bed. A HUGE poop. And my son had occupied himself with it. It was smeared all over the bed and … OVER HIS FACE! His mouth had this delicious green ring right around. Eewww!

  4. Eeek!! Here’s mine: We used to have a bird that lived in our bedroom. My son (now 2 1/2 yrs old) was about 7 or 8 months old. I’m not a morning person, so I usually tucked him in bed next to me, turned my back to him and he would play with my hair, suck on my pjs, etc until I could drag myself out of bed. On this particular morning he managed to fall off the bed. When I turned over (in shock!) to make sure he was ok, I found that the bird had pooped on the bed. A HUGE poop. And my son had occupied himself with it. It was smeared all over the bed and … OVER HIS FACE! His mouth had this delicious green ring right around. Eewww!

  5. My son, Jack, is known for finding gross things. When he was close to a year, I found him eating something at the park. I smelled it, got it on my nose in the process, and realized it was some sort of animal poop. Cat I think.
    He has found gum and started to chew it.
    And my favorite. This summer, at Lake Michigan, he picked something up out of the water and asked "What is this Mommy and Daddy?"
    "That's a maxi pad, dear. PUT IT DOWN NOW!"

  6. My son, Jack, is known for finding gross things. When he was close to a year, I found him eating something at the park. I smelled it, got it on my nose in the process, and realized it was some sort of animal poop. Cat I think.
    He has found gum and started to chew it.
    And my favorite. This summer, at Lake Michigan, he picked something up out of the water and asked “What is this Mommy and Daddy?”
    “That’s a maxi pad, dear. PUT IT DOWN NOW!”

  7. I can't imagine finding the drainplug less than gross, but there are much more disgusting things out there!
    We've gone through gross and dangerous.
    Windex with Vinegard (actually not too poisonous, just gives flu-like symptoms)
    Sister's albuterol (apparently makes them hyper, but not too dangerous)
    Liquid Tylenol (more dangerous than windex, huh? Couldn't have more for several days)
    Poop, human, dog, cat, cat litter crusted….
    Various bugs from outside
    Food off the ground, like someone's old tomato, and that was my 13yo, not an accident
    Anything from the couch cushions….
    Money
    Jewelry
    I don't even cringe anymore, lol. Or keep count, lol.
    God made dirt; a little won't hurt
    God made dirt; a litlle won't hurt
    keep repeating……….

    God bless,
    qtpies7

  8. I can’t imagine finding the drainplug less than gross, but there are much more disgusting things out there!
    We’ve gone through gross and dangerous.
    Windex with Vinegard (actually not too poisonous, just gives flu-like symptoms)
    Sister’s albuterol (apparently makes them hyper, but not too dangerous)
    Liquid Tylenol (more dangerous than windex, huh? Couldn’t have more for several days)
    Poop, human, dog, cat, cat litter crusted….
    Various bugs from outside
    Food off the ground, like someone’s old tomato, and that was my 13yo, not an accident
    Anything from the couch cushions….
    Money
    Jewelry
    I don’t even cringe anymore, lol. Or keep count, lol.
    God made dirt; a little won’t hurt
    God made dirt; a litlle won’t hurt
    keep repeating……….

    God bless,
    qtpies7

  9. My daughter once stuck a roach in her mouth. With the first swipe of removal, I only pulled out one of its legs. She clamped her jaws down and fought me with all of her 10 month old strength, which is surprisingly strong. With the second swipe, I pulled out part of its back. I was so grossed out by this point (I HATE BUGS!) that I just let her eat the rest.

    I can't believe I just admitted that.

  10. My daughter once stuck a roach in her mouth. With the first swipe of removal, I only pulled out one of its legs. She clamped her jaws down and fought me with all of her 10 month old strength, which is surprisingly strong. With the second swipe, I pulled out part of its back. I was so grossed out by this point (I HATE BUGS!) that I just let her eat the rest.

    I can’t believe I just admitted that.

  11. when I was little we had huge sand box and the cats used it as a litter box I used to eat the sand by the pound icky What was I thinking i was like 4 EWWW why do us kids do things like that you say well here is you answer we are curious or like the taste and it is fun to make moms gross out

  12. when I was little we had huge sand box and the cats used it as a litter box I used to eat the sand by the pound icky What was I thinking i was like 4 EWWW why do us kids do things like that you say well here is you answer we are curious or like the taste and it is fun to make moms gross out

  13. When I we were little my aunt had a rabbit that pooped all over the house and my sisters and I ate some because we thought they were raisins! My sister used to pick the gum from under the tables in restaurants and off the ground and eat it! My other sister once found some crackers behind the couch and ate them-which by the way had tons of ants on them! My sister (who was about 10 at the time!) at a worm! She also chewed on a slug. Gross!

  14. When I we were little my aunt had a rabbit that pooped all over the house and my sisters and I ate some because we thought they were raisins! My sister used to pick the gum from under the tables in restaurants and off the ground and eat it! My other sister once found some crackers behind the couch and ate them-which by the way had tons of ants on them! My sister (who was about 10 at the time!) at a worm! She also chewed on a slug. Gross!

  15. My friend's toddler ate a cricket. All but the wings, which she managed to pull out. *shudder*

  16. My friend’s toddler ate a cricket. All but the wings, which she managed to pull out. *shudder*

  17. My 15 mo. old will eat anything. Poop, soap, shaving cream, lotion and dogfood. And, yes, he has sucked the drain plug from the tub, hair and all. I thought I would croak. I didn't ever even think of cleaning them until that. Kids!

  18. My 15 mo. old will eat anything. Poop, soap, shaving cream, lotion and dogfood. And, yes, he has sucked the drain plug from the tub, hair and all. I thought I would croak. I didn’t ever even think of cleaning them until that. Kids!

  19. My son doesn't do any of that, but he does have a really bad habit of eating his bogies. I don't know what to do about it. I didn't teach it to him, and his cousins whom he plays with almost daily don't do it. I don't know if he got the idea at church, or if he's just chosen to do it on his own.

    Help?!

  20. My son doesn’t do any of that, but he does have a really bad habit of eating his bogies. I don’t know what to do about it. I didn’t teach it to him, and his cousins whom he plays with almost daily don’t do it. I don’t know if he got the idea at church, or if he’s just chosen to do it on his own.

    Help?!

  21. Just found this blog and loved this entry so I have to enter my own story:

    When my oldest was about 18 months old we went to a local fast food establishment. I sat him in the booth directly adjacent to the register and went the 5 steps over to the register to pick up our tray of food. I came back and noticed him chewing something. It took me a second but I realized that there was a long string of gum coming out of his mouth. Then I realized that the string was attached UNDERNEATH the table!! Oh yes, he found himself a little treasure under the table. I could vomit just typing this! None of my other boys have topped that one. He's the healthiest of the bunch though! haha. Got all of his innoculations in one dose.

  22. Just found this blog and loved this entry so I have to enter my own story:

    When my oldest was about 18 months old we went to a local fast food establishment. I sat him in the booth directly adjacent to the register and went the 5 steps over to the register to pick up our tray of food. I came back and noticed him chewing something. It took me a second but I realized that there was a long string of gum coming out of his mouth. Then I realized that the string was attached UNDERNEATH the table!! Oh yes, he found himself a little treasure under the table. I could vomit just typing this! None of my other boys have topped that one. He’s the healthiest of the bunch though! haha. Got all of his innoculations in one dose.

  23. CanadianCarrie says:

    I am so disgusted! And LMAO at the same time!! A little boy I was babysitting was crawling under the kitchen table and behind the tv stand in their kitchen, when I looked under the table,he had a dead, dustbunny covered moth in his mouth, I yelled to his older sister,"get that moth out of his mouth!" Worst part of this story? I was talking to their MOM on the phone at the time!!
    My 2 kids have never done anything to top the drain plug thing, yet!

  24. CanadianCarrie says:

    I am so disgusted! And LMAO at the same time!! A little boy I was babysitting was crawling under the kitchen table and behind the tv stand in their kitchen, when I looked under the table,he had a dead, dustbunny covered moth in his mouth, I yelled to his older sister,”get that moth out of his mouth!” Worst part of this story? I was talking to their MOM on the phone at the time!!
    My 2 kids have never done anything to top the drain plug thing, yet!

  25. My sister when she was of crawling age had a swollen tick in her mouth. *blech blech blech*

  26. Ds, who is now 10 yo, was a busy baby, so if I wanted to take a shower, I would keep him in the bathroom with me and talk to him the whole time. Well, I was rinsing my hair and peeked out to check on him…and he had one of the screw covers from the base of the toilet IN HIS MOUTH, and was sucking away happily! I've never been so disgusted!

    Dd, now 12 yo, licked a tire when she was little (maybe 1-1/2). Made her gear-head daddy proud! 🙂

  27. My sister when she was of crawling age had a swollen tick in her mouth. *blech blech blech*

  28. Ds, who is now 10 yo, was a busy baby, so if I wanted to take a shower, I would keep him in the bathroom with me and talk to him the whole time. Well, I was rinsing my hair and peeked out to check on him…and he had one of the screw covers from the base of the toilet IN HIS MOUTH, and was sucking away happily! I’ve never been so disgusted!

    Dd, now 12 yo, licked a tire when she was little (maybe 1-1/2). Made her gear-head daddy proud! 🙂

  29. My son is 10 months old and has recently discovered how liberating it is to run around the house without his diaper on. As soon as I take his diaper off he bolts theough the house (he has been walking since he was 71/2 months old). Tonight, while getting ready for bed he decided to streak down the hall. Not even a minute later he returned to me. I noticed he was chewing something, but couldn't figure out what it was. Then the smell hit me. OH MY GOD! HE HAS POO IN HIS MOUTH! I frantically ran him to the bathroom where his dad was showering and thrust my now bewildered son at him. "He NEEDS A SHOWER NOW he has done a really bad thing!" As I am scrubbing the carpet and using what is left of my Lysol to disinfect I can't help but wonder how many other kids have done this disgusting deed. YUCK! YUCK! YUCK!

  30. My son is 10 months old and has recently discovered how liberating it is to run around the house without his diaper on. As soon as I take his diaper off he bolts theough the house (he has been walking since he was 71/2 months old). Tonight, while getting ready for bed he decided to streak down the hall. Not even a minute later he returned to me. I noticed he was chewing something, but couldn’t figure out what it was. Then the smell hit me. OH MY GOD! HE HAS POO IN HIS MOUTH! I frantically ran him to the bathroom where his dad was showering and thrust my now bewildered son at him. “He NEEDS A SHOWER NOW he has done a really bad thing!” As I am scrubbing the carpet and using what is left of my Lysol to disinfect I can’t help but wonder how many other kids have done this disgusting deed. YUCK! YUCK! YUCK!

  31. autichris says:

    We are out of the country in Romania and the apartment we are staying at has a badae. I was getting ready and my little boy was awfully quiet. When I found him he has the badae drain in his mouth and is sucking away. I didn't even realize those things came out, how stupid is that. I hope he dosen't get sick.

  32. autichris says:

    We are out of the country in Romania and the apartment we are staying at has a badae. I was getting ready and my little boy was awfully quiet. When I found him he has the badae drain in his mouth and is sucking away. I didn’t even realize those things came out, how stupid is that. I hope he dosen’t get sick.

  33. lets see…my son is only 10 mos old right now and I can probably name a few things.
    he has eaten his own poop out of his diaper…and he didnt just take a bite and throw it, he took a bite and than another…ate the whole thing!
    he ate part of a cigarette that fell out of his dad's pocket *gave him a good scolding* but it wasnt even half a cigarette and my son found out that things can actually taste gross! *although I dont know how he couldnt tell with poo*
    he has put his hands in the toilet and sucked on his fingers…
    he has grabbed one of his dad's rare old beer bottles from the trash and sucked on the top
    he has chewed on the toilet seat
    im waiting to find more…
    but so far thats it, dont think were done especially with his record lol
    I swear, I am NOT a bad parent…he just goes EVERYwhere and its hard to keep up being 6 mos pregnant again…

  34. lets see…my son is only 10 mos old right now and I can probably name a few things.
    he has eaten his own poop out of his diaper…and he didnt just take a bite and throw it, he took a bite and than another…ate the whole thing!
    he ate part of a cigarette that fell out of his dad’s pocket *gave him a good scolding* but it wasnt even half a cigarette and my son found out that things can actually taste gross! *although I dont know how he couldnt tell with poo*
    he has put his hands in the toilet and sucked on his fingers…
    he has grabbed one of his dad’s rare old beer bottles from the trash and sucked on the top
    he has chewed on the toilet seat
    im waiting to find more…
    but so far thats it, dont think were done especially with his record lol
    I swear, I am NOT a bad parent…he just goes EVERYwhere and its hard to keep up being 6 mos pregnant again…

  35. Yesterday (Dec. 27, 2007) My 10 mo. Old girl found a fresh pile of warm, wet, stinky, schnauzer poop and decided to try it out. UGH! She had diarrhea all night and still does this morning. What do I need to worry about? Besides me puking!

  36. Yesterday (Dec. 27, 2007) My 10 mo. Old girl found a fresh pile of warm, wet, stinky, schnauzer poop and decided to try it out. UGH! She had diarrhea all night and still does this morning. What do I need to worry about? Besides me puking!

  37. Oh…I wish I could post a picture I got of this little girl licking a pig on its snout! The email is called "The first kiss…" so gross….

  38. Oh…I wish I could post a picture I got of this little girl licking a pig on its snout! The email is called “The first kiss…” so gross….