Recently I was wandering World Market all on my own, enjoying the peace, when I became aware of a young family also shopping. Three preschool boys energetically spun around the axis of their slowly walking parents. My first thought was of how much easier my shopping venture was than this mother’s. And then I heard the voice of one of her little sons.
Enthusiastically stroking the length of a dining table, he said to his mother, “This table would be perfect for us!”
My heart clutched up, just from that one simple word: us. Back in the hazy-crazy days of young motherhood, that’s how it was with our family too. A solid cohesive ‘us’ was the center of our children’s lives. Their happy place. The place where they felt most secure.
Things change when kids grow. Our married kids have their own ‘us’ now, created anew with the people they love and chose, and with their own children. Our not-married young adults have a different version of ‘us’ these days too, more commonly encompassing friends and coworkers and roommates.
Since our youngest two are still at home, they still use the word ‘us’ in that sweet way, asking what we’ll eat for dinner or when we’ll next go to the beach. But even with them, things are beginning to change. Their lives are more outward focused.
Nostalgia has me longing some days for those years when all of my chicks were in easy range, where they wanted nothing more than to be orbiting around me. When ‘us’ meant they were all tucked into bed at night under the same roof. It was a precious time, in all its crazy chaotic busyness.
It is good and normal and right for our children to move outward and onward. To broaden their support system and welcome others into their closest circle.
Yet still connection also exists with us, and for that I am grateful. Sometime it’s a skype chat with a son far away. A late night call from a young adult needing a bit of advice. A Mother’s Day cake made with love. A sweet note tucked into my lunch box. Texts back and forth about things monumental or mundane. A visit from the grandkids with their mommas in tow. A coffee date. Dinner together. A quick drop-by visit that ends up lasting an hour.
Though the moments are more scattered now, they are perhaps even more precious. Each one represents the choice of a busy young person. They have so many things to do, so many ways to spend their time. And yet at these moments they are still choosing and affirming the ‘us’ begun so long ago.
The ‘us’ of years ago was perfect when our kids were small. But you know what? The ‘us’ right now (aside from my occasional momma-heart-twinges) is good and right and timely– maybe even perfect for us — now, in this new stage. We are counting our blessings.