It’s about time for an update from here, right? Here’s a quick shot of my new haircut– the light is funny but you get the idea. It is a little harder to style than I’d like, but it is fun to have something different, and hopefully I’ll get quicker at it as I get more experienced.
I’m still contemplating the whole wedding dress question. Good thing I have awhile to decide. I have a dress on the way to try– I’ll show it to you if it turns out to be a contender.
My computer is still out being repaired. Between sharing a computer with my hubby and working full time this month, it is HARD to make time to write. I do have a giveaway post planned for Wednesday, so stay tuned. But mostly when I sit down to write, I find myself wanting to reflect on all the life change related to my new job.
Part of it is just about the job itself. Each work morning I wake up excited to go learn ALL THE THINGS– preferably yesterday- and get capable quickly. I even find myself practicing new skills in my sleep. Last night I dreamed I had a really demanding patient who was frustrated with me, and demanding an IV even though I was sure she really didn’t need one. (Strange person, eh?) My brain is definitely on OB overdrive.
But the rest of my mental energy of course is focused on my kids, and how they’re doing with all this. I still want to be fully present and available. John and I have been watching a really good TV show called Blue Bloods–and in one episode the wise police commissioner/family patriarch said, “The hardest day at work is easier than any day parenting teens.”
Oh, that resonated with me. But it also made me wince, and to wonder if part of the reason that this whole job thing felt okay to me at this point in life is BECAUSE teen parenting is so very challenging. I don’t want to use the busy-ness of work– the importance of it, or even the whole getting-paid aspect–oh, the novelty– as an excuse to disengage from the home-drama.
I think a bit of occasional distance could be good, especially in the case of older teens. Homeschooling doesn’t give you breaks from each other, and I think maybe (once this intense month of full-time work is done) my bits of time away could be a chance to regain perspective. Maybe they will even appreciate me more? (Or not…)
But just two weeks in, I can already feel the pull in many directions, the need to streamline. John and I are talking about making the garden smaller this year. I’m double-batch cooking every chance I get. Leftovers are easy meals for the home folks. I’m trying not to get to bent out of shape over cluttered corners and projects that aren’t getting done this month. Major in the majors.
Sleep is important, and so is keeping laundry done and food in the fridge. People are important– taking time to talk, to have the hard and the easy and the big and the little conversations. Asking kids about school and finances and work and friends and the state of their hearts.
That’s a huge takeaway from this experience so far: I really, really need to be intentional about taking moments to talk. When I’m here, I really need to be here. Not on facebook or pinterest. My youngest two girls seek me out, and I naturally seek them out too. Our relationship is easy and fun and gratifying. But I need to also continue to pursue these teens of ours. Even the prickliest ones. The ones who don’t think they need me.
Last evening I was up late, chatting with a bunch of the boys, about lip piercings and oddly-named Dutch Bros. drinks, and random other things. It was nice time. Then I was up early for a zoo date with three of my girls and some of the grandbabies. I’m yawning today, and am considering a nap. But before I sneak in that nap, I’ll play a round of Phase 10 with my 10 year old and make a doctor’s appointment, and pay some bills. Dinner this evening is fried rice, with Costco pot-stickers on the side, so that should be pretty easy.
How are things with you? I’d love to hear from you if you have a moment. Be sure to check back in with me on Wednesday for a book giveaway from a fellow adoptive momma. And thanks, as always, for reading. I appreciate you stopping by.