Surfing the lava flow

Yesterday I was bemoaning all the drama that seems to happen in our house on a regular basis. Seems like we can’t make it an hour without someone losing their cool over something.

Later in the day I happened to chat with another mom who looked a bit frazzled. “It’s my first teenager,” she sighed in answer to my question.

I nodded understandingly. Then I stopped to think. I currently have SEVEN teen or almost-teen children, six of whom are in the house most of every day.

No wonder some days feel like I’m riding a lava flow.

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  1. Is that what it’s going to feel like? LOL!
    Momma to children ages 10,9,8,8,6,6,5,4,2,1

  2. Wow. I’ll be honest; I fear those days (not that I guess I’ll have SEVEN at one time). When people look at me with my preschoolers and tell them this is the best time of my life, I believe them. It is a REALLY good time of life.

  3. My oldest will be thirteen in a couple of months, so I’m just starting down this path. Please tell me it gets a little easier with each child. It does, doesn’t it??? Please?

  4. One teenager down and three to go in a few years. Seven all at once! Ugg! I’ve been worrying about three at one time. I so enjoy your blog.

  5. You might also add in their friends through the years.
    Seemed like our house was “Counseling Central” for awhile.

    I’ll admit, there were times when I was glad to send ’em back home, so I’m sure your live-in lava flow can be overwhelming.

  6. Yesterday was one of those days for us. Everything was going along fine, we were having a great family day since my doctor appointment got canceled. Then all of the sudden, boom, the volcano burst forth it’s lava right out of my 13 yr old for no reason what so ever. We still can’t figure out what happened. Most days I can’t ever figure out what happens to make her erupt. Oh well, these days will fly by far too quickly.

  7. All that lava might stop flowing when the winter season is over and people can get out more easily.
    February is my least favorite month. And I’m pretty sure I’m not alone with that thought.

    Teens can be a lot of fun too.

  8. I feel your pain. My kids are 11& 14. I also take care of my nieces who are 16,15,11,4. All girls. I dearly love them but after too many snow days, the drama is just a bit much! Makes me glad when it is not too bad, then I can kick em’ outside for a bit!

  9. I’ve loved having a teenager – it might just be my favorite age to parent (or a close tie with wee nurslings). I currently have only *one* teen, though, which might be why it’s been such a pleasure. She is 17 and is just so precious. I might change my tune in about ten years, because we also have an 8, 6, and 4 year old!

    • I hugely enjoy many parts of having teenagers– seems like I wrote a post recently to that effect. Most of my teens are almost pure pleasure to me. It is just the moods of some of the younger ones that run me thru the wringer….
      Nevertheless, I am blessed.


      • My favorite age is Baby/Toddler, which is why I worked in the Infant Room of a daycare center for 6 years. Rocking babies is the greatest job ever.

        It was my husband/their Dad who loved their adolescence. He rode along for every hour of ‘behind the wheel’ chauffeured to out-of-town music concerts, waited until the wee hours to make sure a kid was home safe (then getting up for the paycheck job in the morning).

        I don’t know how single parents manage. I’m glad for a partner.

        • My favorite age is 8-11. It seems like they are old enough to take care of themselves and be responsible, yet don’t have the overwhelming emotions of a teenager yet. (ie, aren’t cranky) I have enjoyed my 3 teenagers as well, but know the lava flow feeling! It can happen any time, any place, a complete change of mood that they or I could never anticipate. When they have had bad a bad day, and my patience is worn out with the younger ones, it can get very erruptive around here! I agree that February is the worst month, that is why it is only 28 days long, no one could take much more of February.

  10. Hi Mary, I just started reading your blog a month ago and I love it! I only have 3 children and they’re older – son – 26, daughters – 22,20. The best advice I can give moms of pre-teen or teens is to not sweat the small stuff. My 3 kids are still living at home, the girls are attending local colleges and my son recently moved home after a divorce. I don’t care what their rooms look like and haven’t for a very long time. Other than making sure that they clean up any food (ants) and there’s not mold growing anywhere, I let it be their domain. It’s the one place where they can escape a bit. I also had an open door as far as conversation. They could tell me anything – and believe me when they were in high school, some of it was hard to hear – but I just listened, listened and listened some more. My husband and I would hand out advice – but I would say we listened more. Because let’s face it – by that time they pretty much know right from wrong. They will always need guidance from us even as adults, but I try to wait until they ask for it. My kids to this day love to hang out at our house with their friends – we love to play games and of course feed them. 🙂 I am truly amazed at your beautiful family and I’m buying your book the next time I’m at the bookstore – can’t wait to save more money on groceries! 🙂