I’ve decided…

…that what I hate the very most about parenting is when one of my kids is hurting and I can’t fix it.  Can’t, in some cases, even make it one iota better, even when I’m trying my darndest.

Argh.

Sigh.

How about you?  What do you hate most about parenting?

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  1. I hate when I cannot figure out what to do in a given situation, like as in no clue whatsoever-no solution seems to fit, nothing I have tried works, and I have no game plan whatsoever. It is the most frustrating thing ever b/c I just don’t know what to do and there is no one to say “here is what you should do right now!” standing next to me. Except Jesus, of course, and He is usually pretty quick to help me, WHEN I remember to immediately turn it over to Him, but sometimes even then He lets me struggle and I know it is to help me grow but man, I still hate it. 🙂 Praying for your kiddos and their hearts…..

  2. What I hate most? My own hypocrisy. . .

    Yelling at my kids to use kind, gentle voices.

    *sigh*

    Yet, that hypocrisy gives me a chance to repent; to God, to my kids. And in that I pray they will get a glimpse of how much Mommy needs Christ daily, and how we don’t have to “measure up” before He accepts us. . . and see just how important the Gospel is in each moment of the day.

  3. knowing that one day they will have to do without me, sigh

    xc

  4. That as hard as we try, we’ll never be perfect parents, and that means we’ll be deficient and hurt our kids at times. 🙁 The only good side to that is God can heal our kids, fill in the gaps our imperfect parenting leaves, and protect them from our failures. That’s what I pray for.

  5. Not being able to hold back the hands of time, even for a second!

  6. I loved having young sons. And yes, it hurts when you can’t fix their hurts. I always worried if I didn’t know where they were.

  7. The small regrets that I have sometimes, at the end of the day.

  8. I would have liked to impart more of my love of science to my kids. They cold not be more disinterested in what I do or think about the future they have to embrace.

  9. When my short-comings become searingly obvious in the light of parenting my little toddler. Such as yelling at him to stop screaming. Spanking him for hitting. Trying to create perfect behavior, whilst ignoring the massive behavior plank in my own eye. Oh, the list is endless. But I truly hate having to face myself at the end of the day and say “did you do it right, today?” – and most days feeling completely inadequate for this blessing God has given to us. He must know what He’s doing – but my goodness…there are days I’m so insecure about being a mother to someone so dependent and fragile…

  10. I have to agree with you about wanting to take my kids’ pain. My son was recently diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes and has to check his blood sugar and get shots 4 – 5 times a day. He will have to get shots, count carbs and be careful for the rest of his life. I see other children and wonder why God chose this for my son. I would take this from him in a heartbeat.

  11. Gosh, that is one of my tops too. One other thing I had a hard time with is disappointments. Again, it is something I usually could not control and in the end I knew God would bring good through it but I don’t like to hurt and if they hurt I hurt. To avoid some of that pain, I tried to never make promises to my children. That doesn’t mean we didn’t plan to do things or whatever, but I never gave my word that something was (except for pertaining to God’s word.)

  12. That. No question.

  13. Hmmm, do I have to pick just one?
    1. The fact that I see their poor behavior as a reflection of me and my sin.
    2. When I teach them to be nice, kind boys to others and their hearts get trampled on by kids who want to feel cool by treating others like trash for no reason.
    3. Potty training.
    4. Saying goodbye to babyhood. That is hard for me.
    5. Wanting more time to myself than I can have, but admitting that I’m so selfish and needing to die to those “self” wants. Hmmm, sin. We’ll just call it sin.

    I’m sure I could go on, but I’ll leave it at that for now.

  14. Seeing around the corner to what is coming, but not being able to stop them from making the same mistake / getting hurt.

  15. mmm…that is definitely high on the list!! something the I find very hard is when I am going through a challenging time (like right now, my dad dealing with inoperable lung cancer) and I see the ricochet effect happening with my children. when I find myself snapping at them, yelling, distancing myself. when I see them acting out, melting down, trying to process something the don’t understand. I think realizing the level of pain that can be inflicted by us, the parents. (usually without us even realizing it) And realizing that it is up to us to figure it out and fix it. Sometimes it can take only a few days to figure it out….sometimes longer. I find it so encouraging the way we all grow and bond together through these struggles but this is to me one of the most challenging parts of parenting.

  16. I agree with you, about taking their pain. Because I would rather them learn from my mistakes then have to make their own. Even if we do learn best through failure. I also hate my selfish nature taking precedence over their needs at times, getting annoyed when they interrupt me for example. and

    At least we’re in this together, right?

  17. My nest is empty, but do you know Mary, that’s still a difficult thing. I can’t bear to see my grown children hurting. I want so desperately to make everything better.
    It is our part to pray and to love – and it’s hard not to be doing.

  18. I hate wishing I could get them to love each other as much as I love them! As an only child who has been blessed with 10 childen, it is very hard for me to daily witness the bickering and fussing.
    To Tammy W., comment #10, my 10 yr old daughter was diagnosed in Feb of this yr. It is a hard road to travel. I, too, would do ANYTHING to relieve her of this disease. But she has accepted it with grace and peace.
    Seeing your child in pain is hard. The other thing I hate the most, is when my 2 oldest boys have had traffic accidents. That is a phone call you never want to get as a mom! Thankfully they’ve neither one been seriously injured, but getting to them as quickly as possible is all that’s on my mind!
    Dawn in SC

  19. I would agree totally with you, but I also add—I hate it when I can fix a problem but know that I have to let them navigate it themselves. I hate seeing them hurt, especially emotional hurt.

  20. I hate it when you’ve poured so much into them but they choose to live their lives completely different to the standards and morals that you’ve spent all their growing up years trying to cultivate and emulate for them….when they decide to wander in the wilderness…that is hard.

  21. my complete inadequacy for the task.

  22. I hate when my (special needs) son is judged by what he can do by people who have NO IDEA where he came from!

  23. The same, without a doubt. And we have some deep and brutal hurt and struggle around here.

  24. Off the top of my head, the whining. 🙂

    But, no really, I think the worst thing for me so far is the regret – looking back & wishing I would’ve been more patient or not gotten frustrated in a certain situation.

    But I haven’t had the opportunity to have my child be hurt yet, other than a bump on the head or a skinned knee, so I imagine those deep hurts might be harder.

  25. Wow, loved reading all these comments – puts my whiny toddler in perspective. 🙂 Thank you all for sharing! 🙂

  26. That is the worst part of parent9ing I think, when you are so helpless to do anything.
    Hope things get better soon

  27. I hate that whatever is best for the children is inconvenient for me, and I hate that I think of my own convenience before thinking of the children.

    I’m a work in progress, that’s for sure!

  28. Hi, new reader here. Love your blog!
    I find the most difficult thing about parenting is that it is soooo in the moment and “on the fly”. Most jobs I’ve had allowed me to have time to think about how to solve a problem, but there’s not a lot of, “I’ll get back to you on that” when in the midst of a crisis with a toddler.