(written last fall)

September 23, 2008

This morning I sat at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green and dabbing my eyes with a McDonald’s napkin. After a minute or so I realized the stop sign was born red and it intended to stay red. And to the relief of the driver behind me, I drove sheepishly on, wondering if I should even be driving in my current emotional state.

I don’t tend towards tears. My sisters and my cousins are the ones who tear up during special music at church, leaving me wondering why I’m such a cold fish. But these days my heart is flapping in the wind, and my mind is full of fierce and fervent prayer.

There’s a boy in my Firstborn’s life, you see. They are just at the tentative start of a relationship, but when they are together they seek out each other’s eyes, and their smiles are fast and frequent. And when they are apart they talk until ridiculous hours on the computer. 

Maybe I’m an idiot. Maybe this is the time when sensible mamas are urging caution and looking before you leap and waiting until you graduate from college. And in truth I have counseled her to make sure she gives him time to study, to finish this last year of his school.

But this young man is something special. His and my daughter’s beliefs mesh in so many ways. He has a wit to match my daughter’s own. A love for God and family. A longing for excellence and a willingness to work hard. I feel a peace and a rightness about this relationship that has me cheering at each new morsel of the story that my daughter privileges me with. At each little sign that their hearts may be becoming entwined.

At that teary stop sign today I was thinking that here may be THE man.  The one who will pray for her and care for her and cherish her for the rest of her life.

In even thinking these thoughts I am desperately aware that my heart is flying way, way into the misty future. This may not be what God intends for either of them. And yet my prayers on their behalf are fierce. I want it all for her. I want her to have what I have:that all encompassing romance. The joy, the confidence of being unconditionally loved, being doted upon by a steady man. I see the glimmer of all that in his eyes, and I rejoice on her behalf.

And so even as I caution myself towards patience and try to stuff my hopes back in the box and keep my feet on the ground where they belong, my emotions are wild and unruly and floating and damp-eyed.

And so I pray.

And weep at stop signs.

And pray.

And pray some more.

{ 18 Comments }

  1. Beautiful! Answered prayer. 🙂

  2. Beautiful, I look forward to that experience with my two oldest sweet daughters 🙂

  3. This is beautiful. You should write it in a paper letter, seal it, and tell them to open it on their anniversary (if they don’t already read your blog.) Like a memory, but for the future.

  4. oh man, now I AM crying!! =)

  5. You made me smile with this post. More than 20 years ago, I invited the new boy/man to my dad’s house for dinner (where, I neglected to inform him, he’d meet my grandparents, my brother, my step-brothers, and my dad’s wife – oops!). It was our 7th date. When we drove away, my dad’s wife turned to my dad and said, “She’s going to marry this boy.” …and I did…

  6. Lovely, Mary.

    Amazing how God works, isn’t it?

  7. You’re so insightful… ~Heather

  8. The wisdom of a mother’s heart!!

  9. The first time I read this I missed the title…it’s even better reading it with the knowledge of what happens next!

  10. I just loved this, I loved this bc I pray for that women for my young boys, I loved it bc I wish my mom could of prayed and stromed heaven for me like you are doing for yours, and I loved it and cryed bc your daughter has a mom like you! Amamzing. Be blessed.
    Amanda

  11. hmm

  12. In the tone of, “Well look at how nicely things are working out!”

    -mother of the groom

  13. Laura,

    Aren’t we blessed??

    🙂

    Mary

  14. I’m thinking of you all this week!!

  15. I hope to be able to feel something like this some day *far, far* away 🙂

    Enjoy every minute.

  16. You and your husband have given your children a gift of parents who love and respect each other and are committed to the relationship. You are seeing answered prayer for sure but also the fruits of your labor. So inspiring!

  17. The joy of being able to watch it all unfold

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  1. […] (written last fall) A beautiful post by Mary at Owlhaven, writen before her oldest daughter’s engagement. Mary […]