Sometimes love is…

…draping yourself entirely in white paper for a man you see once every year or two, just to get one step further in this adoption process.

Because I am such a rebel, when the nurse left, I snatched an extra drape from the drawer in the exam room so as to be able to wrap myself in THREE flimsy pieces of paper instead of only two. Then of course I affected total nonchalance when, after the exam, my doc leaned back on his stool for a nice chat since we hadn’t seen each other in awhile. All the while I am clutching the various bits of paper over my various bits and wishing he would just sign my adoption physical already so I can go get dressed.

What I’d like to know is if I will ever get over my hatred of my yearly GYN exam? I am 39 years old, for pity sakes!

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  1. I am 32 and still haven’t gotten over the dread. I am promised many trips in the years to come to have my boobs squished too. I think I dread that just as much.

  2. Yep–had to do that last week. I’m 38–still hate it–would worry if I liked it! I’m dreading the squishing too–I will wait as long as I can for that one!

  3. You need a physical to adopt? Who thought THAT up? LOL

  4. Yeah, and then you get to do mammograms in addition!

  5. Well, I’m 44 and I’ve never gotten over it. I did change to a female doctor a few years ago, and I must say that that made the process a lot more bearable for me.

    I’ll never forget the story I heard from a Christian women’s speaker (who would probably want to remain nameless in print although she shared this with over 7,000 woment, her initials are L.T.) about going to a regular doctor’s appointment (not a PAP) without wearing underwear (so she wouldn’t have panty lines). Apparently one of her friends had suggested the no underwear option when a discussion of panty lines came up, and it sounded better than her other friend’s option of fanny floss.

    She happened to tell him about some pain she had been having in her stomach, and he told her he would leave the room and come back and asked her to remove her clothes, but not her bra and underwear. She was in there with her two little girls. After her 6 year old refused to give up her underwear (LOL), she wound up grabbing an extra drape and fashioning it into a diaper. Oh the horror of it all.

  6. Lol at Shelley’s story!! I wish that I only had one yearly pap test. Not only do I have to go every 6 months, I also have to go to a OBGYN Oncologist! Regular paps I can handle but when I’m at the Gyn Oncologist it is a nightmare, 2 doctors, a nurse and, all of it displayed on a full color tv monitor:0. This appt too is a twice a year deal. The old saying is better off safe than sorry….right? Somehow that doesn’t really help while I’m there.

  7. I don’t think you ever get over it. The most laughable part is that they always seem to have a poster of kittens, a sunset, or the ocean tacked to the ceiling—as if that will somehow help.

  8. Paper- only paper!! Horrifying! It will be the farthest thing from your mind when you are snuggling new warm bodies against your own I am sure! Glad it’s over for you.


  9. Well, the alternative would be that you feel completely comfortable and at ease, or even perhaps enjoy it. Now THAT would be just a little weird!

    Although, I have to tell you, my midwives have homemade thick flannel gowns that are actually sized to cover even a 9 month belly, and are able to put me at ease more than I can imagine anyone else possibly doing. The office is a colorfully renovated old building next to an ice cream parlor. If I also am lucky enough to have the rare privilege of going to my appointment without children, well, it’s an afternoon out. Whee! Except for those very brief, you know, intrusive moments.

  10. Oh my.

    M’dear, as long as you are female, you will NEVER get to the point of enjoying these little “visits” every year.

    Unless, of course, you only go every OTHER year. :0)

    I’m 50 and I’ve had a partial hysterectomy, but I still have to go this route every year. That and the mammogram (a real treat for a full-busted woman like me) are the absolute highlights of my year.

    And if you believe that, I’ve got this piece of land….

  11. I always go into hiding when my doctor mentions the full physical thing!!

    I have a little award for you on my blog. I know you receive a lot…. but I thought of you for this one.


  12. First, I just love your masthead. Just one suggestion: Adding your older daughter maybe with some books in hand to represent her at university.

    Anyway, I’m 38 and I can’t stand the GYN appointment. And now I have to get a mammogram, too. Yuk!

  13. oy! the worst… glad that part of the adoption process is over. ergh!

  14. It never gets any easier, and I’m not all that thrilled with the mammo. thing either — especially after my last one.

    So proud of you for doing even this for the anticipation of more giggles and more snuggles from those precious ones God has waiting for you.

  15. I found that using a woman instead a man is much easier on me! Not that I enjoy it by any means 🙂

    Are you adopting again??

  16. Since having my membranes ruptured to try to get a baby to come without pitocin, I don’t mind it so much. Oy! I still remember how THAT felt.

    The midwife thing makes the biggest difference to me, though. I only wish my insurance covered my yearly pap with them, too. Instead I have to go to a nasty clinic. At my midwife’s office, though, in one of the exam rooms she has a poster with an ice cream sundae (two scoops) with cherries on top. Underneath it says “Breastfeeding is best for your baby”. I always laugh at that one!

  17. Simply….NO!! GYN exams stink. I am a huge proponent of all women getting them and taking proper care of themselves, but there is nothing pleasant about them. Glad you got it over with. One step closer to the new kiddos. 8^)

  18. I bring a wrap to my yearly appt because they get me in the room, ask me to change into the paper napkins and then leave me there for 45 mins! It is cold!

    I have a female doctor that just tells me to get dressed as she chats with me – leave the room and give me some privacy NAH!