Yard Anxiety

So. My daughter is graduating next week– a momentous occasion! Calls for a celebration. We’ve decided to have an open house, with a sundae bar, and invite, oh, 5 dozen or so of our nearest and dearest…

Only problem is, our yard is awful. Weeds. Bare patches in the lawn. Overgrown flowerbed. Toys everywhere, some chewed to bits by the dog. Basically it looks like about 8 kids and a border collie tear it up every hour of the day. (Oh, that’s right–they do!)

Seriously, though, we are talking hours and hours and hours of work. And money. The sandbox needs sand. The play area needs more gravel. Our picnic table is a rickety paint-almost-gone embarrassment. The flowerbeds need about a gazilion hours of weeding and about a ton of bark. All in the next 10 days.

Sigh. My daughter says we should just have the open house at the park– in which case, we call it, what? An open park? I can just picture it now: soccer players and college kids and various other total strangers, maybe a stray wino or two, wandering in for ice cream. Somehow it doesn’t have the friendliness of an in-home affair.

I’m trying my darndest to remember that people don’t love us for our lawn, and I should just mellow out. But lots of our guests, darn it all, actually have STANDARDS for their lawns. (Well, truth be told, we have standards too—just low ones. Our single rule of yard care is that if it is green, it’s grass. Period. I know, we’re pititful.)

Hey, maybe if I could just get everyone to read my blog, then when they come over, they’ll be prepared, and hopefully not judge me too harshly for the pit that is our yard. At the very least, when they are greeted by a muddy hostess frantically spreading bark in the flowerbed as the first guests arrive, they’ll understand the trauma I’ve gone through on account of my daughter/ them my pride in the previous week.


  1. Oh Mary I'm sorry! If I lived closer I'd come help out or something. 🙂

    Our backyard at the moment is basically a swamp…we have no clue why it is flooded. Ah the joys of home ownership…

    I am sure it will be fine and that no one will even notice the yard!

  2. Mary, I can totally relate. I sweat that kind of stuff too before a party. Before my daughter's second birthday I insisted on getting wood chips and a border for our play area. We did. But of course it was too cold at her party to play outside.

    How about a work party? You'd be surprised how many people (especially teenage boys) are willing to lend a hand in exchange for some pizza. 🙂

  3. are you kidding? if any parents of kids who just graduated come and see your lawn the way you've described it, they will be kicking themselves for spending all that money and time beautifying their lawn when they could be enjoying the finer things of life, like spending time with the daughter who is graduating. don't think another thing about it unless you absolutely have to mow the green stuff.

  4. With 5 dozen people milling about, no one will notice the lawn… especially when there is ICE CREAM involved!!!

    And congratulations to your girl!

  5. Oh Mary, you are worrying too much. we certainly don't care about your lawn–we are all perfectly aware that you spend your time doing the important things in life 🙂 the rest are just details, anyway. and have you looked at the other lawns in our family recently? very far from perfect. no worries! 🙂

  6. Eh, I like your lawn standards. Green=grass works for me. I have a lovely patch of mint growing in some bare spots of my lawn, and I don't care one bit. It looks good, and smells heavenly when you walk on it!

    Good luck. You guys can do it!