Why I’m Here

Today I’ve had a few things rolling around in my head precipitated (as usual lately) by blogs I’ve read. The other day Heather asked people what got them started blogging. Then this evening I read an article about a trend towards (slightly) larger families these days. And of course, being human, I have been thinking about my Share The Love Blog Awards nomination. All that coalesced and left me wanting to explain my presence here in blogland.

I actually got interested in blogging in November, when I applied for an Adoption Blog writing job at adoption.com. The idea of talking about a passion of mine– adoption– and getting a chance to encourage others along that path was thrilling to me. Before that time I had done lots of writing, some freelance and lots on internet adoption forums, but no blogging. When I heard I had been hired, I was delighted. While waiting for the job to start, I did a bit of looking around in blogland to see what was up with it.

The Big Yellow House was one of my first finds. I read the entire archives in two days during my baby’s naps. I realized there was an entire community of women with whom I had tons in common, as well as some who reminded me of myself a few kids ago. And the ones whose lives were different than mine were, well, a window on a world I might not otherwise visit. I found it fascinating.

Soon my head was filled with words. Because as I read your stories, I was suddenly bursting to tell my own. And in I jumped. I particularly wanted to share the laughter, the joys of being the mother of eight. Yeah, I’ve griped too. But mostly I think– I hope–I’ve shown the humor, the fun of it. Because, you know what? When all is said and done, our kids are the best and most lasting investments we can make in this life.

And you know what else? The irony– or the perfect fitness– of that nominee banner in my sidebar is that I really do want to make you want to have more kids–some of you anyway. Even more than I want to win the Share The Love thing, in fact.

Why? Because there are a lot of good mothers here in blogland. And there are kids all over the world who desperately need what you have to offer. And the thing about adoption is that you don’t fully understand the blessing of it TO THE PARENTS til you experience it. The truth is, we get way more than we give. Of course you have to also WANT to parent– to experience all the work and all the reward— to go forward and be a good parent to another child. Charity is not enough. But these kids are such great blessings to us— that is the bit of adoption that people sometimes don’t factor in to the equation. So think about adoption, OK? If you do, then this blog will have fulfilled its purpose.

Hopping off my soapbox now.


  1. I love it!!! We are already sold, as I've told you. AFter Guel is out of school that is one of our first goals. šŸ™‚

    Hugs & cheers,

  2. Sadly, this weekend I learned that a close friend will not be getting the grandson we have all been waiting for, because the birth mother changed her mind about giving up the baby. The father has already signed off his parental rights.
    The adoptive parents have been legal and nursery ready for longer than two years.
    We have to keep our hopes a while longer.

  3. We made an attempt at a domestic (in the USA) adoption that fell through too. Thankfully we were steered toward Ethiopia by a friend, and the rest is history. With international adoption, the birthparents have already relinqished their rights by the time the adoptive parents show up, so it is easier emotionally on the adoptive parents…less risky. I hope your friends have success. Be sure to mention the international option to them…

  4. Beautiful. I love your site!

  5. this is so on my heart these days. i just gave birth to our 6th 4 months ago. while i don't know that i would want to have any more bios, i really feel like our family needs #7 and #8. a sibling group maybe? my heart is waiting to see. my oldest is only 10 so we do have lots of little people here already, but we'll keep our options open. thanks for speaking to my heart…

  6. Mary, this is why I so love reading your blog. It has always been in my heart to adopt and adopting from Ethiopia would be an absolute dream! But for now, I have to live vicariously through your blog, as my dh does not have this same heart. Foster care is the other area that I have always felt something I would love to be doing, but for the same reasons, I/we cannot at this time. But I don't think I will ever give up hope of changing the lives of those little lives that need a home and need someone to love them. Blessings!

  7. Mary, thank you for saying it all so well! From one international adoptive mom to another,Mary really states it well. And her blog shows that loving children who are adopted from far away (some times a country you may not even know much about at first) is just like loving the children you may have born your self. We are in process to adopt from Vietnam and we can not wait to have our new daughter home. If you feel a tug in your heart to adopt please go for it!
    mom to 6
    4 from adoption
    and soon to be one more from Vietnam

  8. Mary, thanks for encouraging others on this great option!

  9. Bless your good and loving heart. We have many friends and family who have had their families through adoption, to the joy of all.

    When I was teaching pre-school, I would always get so excited when the "good" parents chose to have more. There's enough love to go around!

  10. What a lovely post. And I'm already thinking about adoption (down the road, post grad school and post "having a husband"), but your blog reminds me of what a blessing it is for others, and will, God willing, be someday for me. Keep it up!

  11. Great post and great message. As an adoptee, I'm always happy to come across people discussing adoption in a positive light.

    Btw…I'm here from Michele's today!

  12. I admire you so much Mary. You are the only blogger I read who a) has so many children and b)has adopted children from another country. (that I know of) I know that we could never afford it but if we could we would love to have such a big and diverse family. Thank god for people like yourself!

  13. Also…I'm giggling a little bit at being included in the same phrase as bloggers from Korea and Ethiopia. Ah, yes, the exoticism of New York City…. :P.

  14. Thanks for your wonderful post. We share your heart for adoption and plan to start the process later this year for our first daughter from China. You are an inspiration and encouragement to me as we proceed on this journey.

  15. Well, Jenna, I kinda live out in the sticks… did you see my 'on my street' post from the other day? if you did, you'd understand why NYC sounds like an exotic locale to me!

  16. Great post Mary, I have given birth six times, we have four living children and we know that is our family complete. Adoption is not something that is for us but I have a huge admiration for those who do adopt šŸ™‚

  17. Well said Mary!