6 yr old daughter: Mom, did you have a computer when you were a kid?  

41 yr old me: No

6 yr old (surprised): Why not? 

41 (thinking, let’s see, late 70’s, early 80’s?): Hardly anybody had one back then. They were too expensive.

6 yr old (puzzled): Well, then how did you email people? 

41 yr old: We didn’t.

6 yr old (puzzled): Did you have pens?  

41 yr old (insulted): Yes!

6 yr old (surprised): Like the pens we have? 

41 yr old (more insulted): Yes, I’m not THAT old.

At which point the the 6 yr old wisely decides to stop asking questions and go play with her Legos.

Which, for the record, WERE around when the 41 year old was a kid.

.

Homemade Donuts with Orange Glaze

Makes 1 dozen

This evening my 10 year old son made this recipe for us. It is not difficult and results in donuts with a crispy outside and a lovely soft interior. I did help him with the frying of the donuts, as I didn’t want him to get hurt by hot grease. If you’ve never made home made donuts, give this recipe a try. You may be surprised at how easy it is!

1 tablespoon yeast
1/2 cup warm water
1/2 cup buttermilk (or make your own with a scant 1/2 cup milk and 1 tablespoon vinegar)
3 tablespoons shortening, melted
1/4 cup sugar
3 cups flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
vegetable oil, for frying (at least 2-3 cups)

For Glaze:
2 -1/2 cups powdered sugar
1/4 cup milk
1 teaspoon of freshly grated orange zest

Dissolve yeast and in warm water in a large bowl. Stir and let sit for 5 minutes. If you are making your own ‘buttermilk’, mix milk and vinegar and let it sit 5 minutes also. Into a bowl measure 2 cups flour and mix with baking powder, sugar and salt. Add buttermilk, yeast mixture, and melted shortening and mix well. Add enough remaining flour to make a soft dough.

Turn dough onto a floured surface and knead for a minute or two. Roll dough to 1/2 inch thick and cut with a donut cutter. If you don’t have a donut cutter, use a large glass tumbler to cut the outside of the donuts and a small lid (like on the top of a bottle of cooking oil) to cut the hole in the center. Place doughnuts on wax paper or on a lightly floured counter. Let rise about an hour. (Donuts will puff even more during cooking.)

Fill a medium sized deep pot about 2-3 inches deep with oil. I chose a pot that would just fit 3 donuts at once, so I didn’t have to use so much oil. Heat oil over medium heat to 325 or 350 degrees. If you don’t have a thermometer, let oil heat 3-4 minutes and trial the temperature by frying one donut. One side of the donut should get a nice medium brown in about a minute, at which point you should carefully flip the donut and cook for another minute on the other side. If the donut gets dark brown before the time is up, the oil is too hot, and you should turn the burner down.

The oil will get hotter the longer it heats. After your first batch, you’ll need to turn the burner a little cooler so that the donuts don’t cook too fast, which results in dark outsides and doughy centers. If needed, you can also add a bit more oil to cool the temperature down even more. However don’t let the oil cool too much or the donuts will cook too slowly and be overly greasy. Cook donuts about 2 minutes each or until lightly golden in color, turning once. Drain well on paper towels.

For Glaze:
Combine 2 1/2 cups powdered sugar with 1/4 cup milk and 1 teaspoon orange zest. Stir until smooth. using a knife, spread glaze over the tops of donuts while still hot, allowing extra glaze to drip off. Cool or serve warm. Or do like I did and make a double batch, half to eat warm and half to eat later. Enjoy!

Brian Seay with Compassion kids in the DR from Mary on Vimeo.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

Matthew 19:14

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I took the above video in the Dominican Republic in November. Read about my trip by clicking the button in my left-hand sidebar. Brian (featured in the video) and his wife will be leaving for Ethiopia very soon to adopt two children. I’m sure they’d appreciate prayer as they prepare for this great adventure!

And remember, even if you don’t think you could adopt a child, you can make a difference in the life of a child through a Compassion sponsorship.

Bananagrams

This Christmas while shopping I happened across a game called BananaGrams. I ended up buying and giving away several sets, two of which ended up at our house. I was thinking that with our big crew a double set would be needed. But as it turns out, one set accommodates eight or ten people just fine.

The game is like scrabble, but without a board, and without the need to take turns. Each person works on their own little ‘board’, making as many words as possible with the tiles they have. The catch is that every time a person uses up all their own tiles, everyone has to draw another tile! You can rearrange your board as many times as you wish, but speed is definitely rewarded.

The game works surprisingly well for all ages over 7 or so. Even a kid who can only spell short words will have fun trying this game. It goes quickly enough that you don’t get bored. The average round only takes 5-10 minutes to complete, but it is so much fun that most likely you’ll want to play again and again. As a homeschooling mom, I appreciate that kids are practicing their spelling as they play this game. But they’re doing it in such a fun way that they don’t even really realize it.

This game is great– I highly recommend it!

As a homeschooling mom I’ve known families who have taken an active role in helping their children find suitable spouses. Though I am eager for all my kids to find the right spouses when the time is right, I’ve never been especially keen on the idea of an arranged marriage. Seems like too big a decision to hand off to others.

And yet a few weeks ago when I randomly clicked on an AOL story that featured First Comes Marriage, I was fascinated by the author’s twist. Not ‘is arranged marriage a good idea for everyone?’ but rather, ‘what things work about this idea?’

Turns out, there’s plenty that works. Enough that after I roared through the book in three days flat, I handed it off to my 18 and 20 year old daughters and told them to read it, poor girls! (This was before Amanda got proposed to, by the way.)

I believe that anyone would do well to take such a considered approach to finding a spouse. Women featured in the book talked about the peace that comes from knowing that you have similar beliefs on a foundational level. Not on the froufrou you learn when dating such as ‘do we like the same movies?’ but the deep questions that can bind together or tear apart a marriage such as ‘how will we raise our children?’ and ‘do we agree that this marriage is forever?’

Turns out when loving families are given input in the selection, they often have a firm grasp on two things: #1– Things that the young people themselves would wish for and need in a mate. And #2– Issues that are truly important in ensuring a lasting relationship.

I still believe that young people should be able to choose a mate on their own. But there is a lot to be said for getting feedback from loved ones who know you very well. I believe that if more people knew how to look at core values instead of surface stuff right from the start in a relationship, they’d greatly improve the odds of a happy match, the kind that actually makes it to ‘as long as we both shall live.’

This thoughtful book is one I am very glad to have read.

The other evening we were talking about Ben joining our family, and how the kids were going to have a new big brother. Our 13 year old daughter was sighing over Ben’s habit of teasing her — typical big brother, eh?  — though her smile gave away the fact that she doesn’t mind the teasing all that much.

Our 6 year old was listening intently to all of this, and then finally she said, “So where are we gonna stuff him?”

At that point we realized we had a little more explaining to do.   But I’m still laughing at the idea of trying to ’stuff’ Ben someplace in our house.

Amanda and Ben this weekend

I’m finding it much more fun to scan facebook for new pictures from my traveling, newly-engaged daughter than it is to write my book. Speaking of Amanda, her engagement ring is being custom made this week! She and Ben visited half a dozen stores, got ideas, and put in their order. Oh, the excitement. The instant-messaging at odd hours. The poring over blurry closeups on Facebook. Bless the girl for making me feel like part of it, half a world away though I am.

And just when I decide to get my head together, lovely blog readers send me links to amazing sites like THIS ONE. (Seriously stunning work Melissa does. Captivating. As in, 30 minutes gone justlikethat.)

But SO not what I need to be doing right now. My book deadline is ONE month away. Yikes. I’ve gotta work. More. Longer. Harder. If I’m not too chatty around here for awhile, that’d be why.

Yeah. So. I think that about says it.

As a mom of four boys, I’ve spent a fair bit of time over the years telling my sons to settle down, look where you’re going, be careful, take it easy, and watch out. Certainly there are girls who also require such cautions. But in my experience with four of one kind and half a dozen of the other, it is the boys who most often fill me with warnings. They’re always gravitating towards challenges. Ninja moves. Stick fighting. Climbing the tall tree instead of the safe one.

I’ve been wondering lately,though, about the wisdom of always counseling my guys to avoid risks. Truth is, there are plenty of times in life that you need a guy around who is bold enough to take a risk. To do something.

Allow me to talk for a moment in stereotypes. Think about the heroes in action movies: Iron Man. Sahara. National Treasure. Any of the Bourne movies. The guys in these movies are doers. Problem solvers. They think on their feet and they know how to get things done.

Why are action movies filled with these guys? Guys want to be like them.

Now think about the heroes in a lot of romance novels. They’re bold, strong, take-charge types. Doers. Pursuers.

Why are romance novels populated by these guys? Women are drawn to them.

Granted, after we marry them, we women are sometimes appalled to learn that they drive too fast on mountain roads and tell vomit stories at the dinner table and stomp through the house in muddy boots. (Hypothetically speaking, of course.) But there is something in the soul of a man that wants to be a hero. And there is something in a woman’s soul that wants to be wooed by a hero.

(If you’re arguing with me right now, see above warning about stereotypes– I know I’m not describing everyone here.)

But I want my sons to be heroes.

I want them to be bold enough to ask out that amazing girl, even though there’s a chance she might say no. Strong enough to voice an opinion even if it is not a popular one. Bold enough to pull over and help an accident victim out of a car. Strong enough to get up every morning and go to work, even when it’s not fun. Bold enough to stretch limits and meet needs and exceed expectations, sometimes even at the expense of their own desires.

The question is, how do we do that? I don’t have it all figured out, but my gut says it has more to do with tree-climbing than video games. With creative tenacious problem-solving, not buck-passing. With plowing through big tasks instead of avoiding them. With making sure boys get a judicious mixture of good hard work and exciting and active play.

Don’t get me wrong. I still wish my boys would stop vaulting my couches. I hope they’ll drive safely when they’re old enough. And to be honest, I hope none of them ever get it in their heads to try and scale Everest.

But I do hope that someday they grow up to become men who take risks. Who do hard things.

What do you think?

How do we raise our boys to be heroes?

There are no mystic jewels
Embedded in my prose
No moonlit haloed cherubs
Perched on my piano
No lyrics laced with pixie dust
No angels sings along
I am just a beggar who gives alms

Chorus:
Gold and silver have I none
But such I have give thee
Borrowed words from the one
Who gave the gift to me
The pearl that I could never buy
This life, this dream, this song
And I am just a begger who gives alms

I am not the creator
But a scribe with a pen
I’m recreating visions
Through a cracked and broken lens
Only one has ever seen
The home for which we long
And I am just a beggar who gives alms

–From Downhere- A Beggar Who Gives Alms